shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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