My Higher Power is John Stamos
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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