so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
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just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
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she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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