After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize