What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize