we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
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after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
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dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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