3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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