So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
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Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
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He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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