i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
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It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
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For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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