Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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