I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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