her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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