you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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