New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize