It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize