I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
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