You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
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i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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