you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize