Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
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You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
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after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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