D3 body, D1 cock
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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