matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize