I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize