Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
They are going to name an STD after you.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize