I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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