So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize