Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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