Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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