If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
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Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
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Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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