Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize