One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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