worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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