1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
either way he was missing a nipple.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize