We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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