Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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