i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
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The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
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I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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