I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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