his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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