im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize