Swine flu. Run for my life!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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