I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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