Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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