Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize