Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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