It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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