Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize