I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize