btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
The beer is more important than you right now.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize