If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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