he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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