Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
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This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
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I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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