I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
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