I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize